The best free way to change your marriage today

Krista Ortiz

We go on dates and pay for marriage counseling. We study love languages and practice not going to bed angry.

We spend a lot of time and money in hopes of making progress in our marriage, but there is one way we often don't think about: Praying together.

Praying together takes little time, is absolutely free, and is guaranteed to make a difference. When we take our hopes, our dreams and our problems to Jesus in prayer, He hears the desires of our hearts and helps us find a way forward (1 John 5:14-15).

3 Reasons To Begin Praying With Your Spouse

1. It will help you get on the same page.

It’s hard enough to agree which toothpaste to buy, let alone make big decisions like which job to take or which school to put the kids in.

But soon after my husband and I started praying together, we began praying specifically about his next step in his career. Weeks later, my husband was offered a completely different position, and to my surprise, he never asked me whether or not he should accept the position!

The reason my husband didn’t ask is because he didn’t have to. We had been praying about that very decision for weeks. This new career move was an answer to our prayers.

Praying with your spouse allows you to verbalize to God and to each other what you need, and to anticipate God’s next move for you as a family. So as God answers your requests, you’re already on the same page about what to do.

God gives us the strength we need when we come to Him in prayer together.

2. Your marriage will be strengthened.

In Ephesians 3:14-16, the apostle Paul writes, “For this reason I kneel before the Father… that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you.”

Every marriage could use a little more strength. When the bills stack up and demands from work and life seem to drain all the energy we have left, God gives us the strength we need when we come to Him in prayer together.

3. You will learn more about your spouse.

When I listen to my spouse pray, I gain insight into his greatest dreams, his greatest fears and how he most needs God to show up in his life.

There’s no better way to understand your spouse’s heart than to hear him converse with his Creator. And by doing that, you can be a better support and know how to pray for him throughout the day.

If you know your next step is to start praying with your spouse, here are three tips to help you get started.

  • Pick a specific time each day.

It could be in the morning before you start the day, during a lunch break, or once the kids have gone to bed for the night. Find a time and place each day that fits your family’s needs and allows you to get away together in prayer.

  • Make a prayer list.

If you don’t know what to pray for, discuss it with your spouse and identify some things you could pray for. Then, pray through the list you came up with together.

  • Both spouses need to pray.

Some days, your prayer will mirror your spouse’s prayer, but other times, your prayers will be completely unique. It’s about getting comfortable praying in front of and with each other. The more comfortable you are, the more you will get out of it.

Just like incorporating any other healthy habit, praying with your spouse takes time and consistency before it becomes automatic. But as my husband and I followed through on our commitment to pray together, we found ourselves growing closer to God and to each other.

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