Why we shouldn’t fear getting to know God better

Alane Zlotnicki

Social scientists say there are four levels of friendship: acquaintances, casual friends, close friends, and intimate friends. The level of friendship is often determined by the amount and quality of time spent with each other. 

For example, many of us spend 40 hours a week with our coworkers, but those relationships probably range from acquaintances to casual friends. We spend the most time with them, but we don’t share our hopes, fears, and flaws with them. Alternately, we may have one or two people that we rarely see in person, but we share everything with them. 

God wants to have an intimate relationship with us, and that requires us to spend meaningful time with Him ‭(Psalms‬ ‭25:14‬). ‭‬‬

Scared to Let God In?

Just as it’s scary to let someone learn who you are inside, it can be unnerving to find out someone else’s secrets as well. God is no different. The more we know about Him, the more responsibility we have to obey Him (Luke 12:48). 

It might seem easier to keep our relationship with our heavenly Father at the acquaintance level, but we rob ourselves of a full life when we avoid going deeper. Studying theology can be intimidating, but think of it as self-revelation. God promises that we will find Him if we seek Him with everything we have (Jeremiah 29:13).

As we get to know God better, we begin to see who He is and learn how we can take after Him as our heavenly Dad. God tells us in Proverbs 8:17, “I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.” When we pursue God, we make Him happy, and He is pleased to reveal Himself to us. 

We don’t need to be afraid of what God may require of us as we grow closer to Him. Ever notice that if your spouse or best friend is a hockey fan, you become a hockey fan? When we love someone and spend time with them, our views and interests naturally begin to align. 

We tend to become like the people we hang around, and the same is true of God. When we study God’s character and listen to what He tells us, through the power of the Holy Spirit we will become more like Him — more loving, patient, kind, and merciful (Galatians 5:22-23).

What It Looks Like to Pursue God as a Friend

Spending time with God is more than learning about Him. A relationship with someone requires a two-way conversation. Reading your crush’s Facebook entries is no substitute for going on a date with them. To really get to know them, you need to talk together. 

Jesus prayed for us to know God and Himself, promising eternal life to those who invest in a relationship with Him (John 17:3). But we can’t meet God at the local coffee shop or tailgate before the game with Him, so how do we get to know Him?

1. Read His Word.  

Graham Cooke once said if you’re having trouble hearing God’s voice, read the Bible out loud. The Bible is God’s Words written down for us. It tells us more than we will ever fully understand about Him. We can start deepening our relationship with God by reading the Bible (Psalm 119:105).

2. Talk to Him. 

Prayer is how we communicate with our heavenly Father. He wants to have a two-way conversation with us and for us to recognize His voice when He speaks to us (John 10:27).

3. Spend time with other believers. 

We often hang out with our best friend’s spouse, children, and family as well as our friend. Spending time with people who also love God shows His character in practice (Hebrews 10:25).

Going deeper in our relationship with our heavenly Father can be scary. But the reward is greater peace and the joy which can only be found when we know Him as the most intimate of friends.