Session 19

Fixing Your Marriage Starts With You

From 1 Peter: A 20-Day Devotional

In As Good As It Gets Helen Hunt’s character tells a friend to give her a sincere compliment or she will walk out of his life forever.

He looks at her across the dinner table and says, “You make me want to be a better man.”

She responds, “That's maybe the best compliment of my life.”

The reason this scene is so famous is that it resonates with something we know to be true: a good woman can have a profound effect on even the worst man.

1 Peter 3 starts with this premise. Inspired by God, Peter spends a section of his letter to Christians in Rome instructing spouses how to experience marriage the way God intended it to be. Peter makes the point that a wife’s godly conduct, peaceful disposition and respectful attitude can move her man closer to Jesus. Husbands need their wives to respect them, especially when they don’t deserve it.

But a great marriage isn’t all up to the wife. Jesus tells husbands to live with their wives “in an understanding way, showing honor” (1 Peter 3:7). Husbands are charged with honoring their wives, and there is no conditional clause here either. A husband’s prayers will be hindered unless he honors his wife and treats her as his equal.

The key to fixing or improving any marriage is for both spouses to do the best they can at upholding their part of the plan. Jesus never gives the command for the husband to fix his wife or for the wife to nag her husband. Every instruction is personal. Each partner in a marriage has their own next step.

Reflect:

• Why is it important to focus on your own next step instead of your spouse’s?
• What’s one way you can show your husband respect or be considerate of your wife today?